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I just thought this time with someone would have been different but I still make the same choices. We barely talk anymore and I much have to beg you to come see me. I felt as if I tired to be who you wanted you would want me.

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Looking for Fri. Or we could just entertain each other. Where are the REAL women? NO BBW's. What happened to all the nice guys? The answer is simple: you did. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you.

He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, take you to Sabres games, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the other guy that you were fucking treated you. At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.

Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basiy be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys? You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.

You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, xxx day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted xxx months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry.

He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do: x. Build a time machine.

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Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass. Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it. I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men.

In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you. If you were xxx years younger. So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over.

You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he probably doesn't want you, now. If you would like to respond, please go right ahead and tell me your thoughts on this. I AM looking for a special friend, just so you know.

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